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Real Conversations
Everyone has things going on in their lives that can make them feel worried or down. Bottling it up can lead to a big build up and make things worse.
It’s important to talk about what’s going on in your life regularly with friends. Share how you’re feeling. It won’t necessarily solve your problems, but it will help lighten the load.
Here are a few tips for opening up:
1. Choose someone who you can trust.
When it comes to meaningful conversations, it's best to find someone you trust. That might be a close mate who you enjoy hanging out with. Or it might be a family member that you've got a good relationship with.
Having someone that you feel comfortable around will make it much easier to talk naturally about something that’s on your mind.
2. Pick the right time and place.
Pick a time and a place where you'll be able to chat without distraction. We recommend getting away from the banter of a group setting and having the conversation one-on-one.
It can be helpful to talk on the way somewhere, like when you're driving or walking together. Most people find it easier to talk openly alongside someone — shoulder-to-shoulder — rather than directly face-to-face.
3. Talk about what’s been on your mind.
Share what’s been on your mind and let the conversation flow naturally. It doesn’t have to feel like a ‘deep and meaningful’, but it pays to be honest if you’re struggling with something.
Don't be afraid to come straight out with it. A good mate will listen and help you unpack how you're feeling. They may even be able to relate to your challenges — or share their own worries or struggles.
4. Don’t expect to solve the problem.
None of us have all the answers, so don’t expect your mate to solve the problem. The conversation might not go perfectly either — but that's OK.
Simply speaking with someone about what’s going on in your life can lighten the load and make you feel a lot better. It also helps deepen the relationship so they know they can lean on you too. Show them a little gratitude and let them know if they’ve helped you feel better.
5. Repeat – and talk regularly.
Don't let things build up. It’s best to talk about what’s going on in your life 'little and often', rather than waiting for a tipping point.
So, create more opportunities to talk with your mates, one-on-one, away from the group. Talking openly, regularly with people that make you feel good builds better friendships.
Watch how it's done:
Want to check in on a friend but don't know how? We've got the tools.
Reach out with ALEC
Asking, listening and being there for your friends can be lifesaving. In four steps, ALEC helps you navigate a conversation with someone who might be struggling. Ask, listen, encourage action and check in — it's that simple.
Huge thanks to R U OK? for developing the ALEC model.
Try Movember Conversations
Movember Conversations is an interactive tool for those who want to feel more confident and informed when navigating an important conversation. It walks you through the kind of conversational prompts and responses that help to open up a conversation and keep it flowing meaningfully.
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